This question is one of the many that I get every month from a multitude of gents, and that seems to drive a lot of women crazy as well. Why won’t he hit on me? Why can’t he ask me out? Is he even interested?
Don’t let the girl of your dreams fall through your fingers because you didn’t know what to say, do, or how to act. Instead, follow these tips and get the gal, right now.
First, Make Eye Contact
Make sure that you can make eye contact with the gal you’re interested in. The easiest way? Just stare at her, but do so in a loving, caring, and appreciative manner. Anything otherwise and you’ll come off as creepy or get the police called. Just appreciate her, stare into her eyes, and wait until she makes eye contact with you. It might take a while depending on how solid you are in your own being, and how great you feel about yourself, so it helps if you’re feeling amazing before you even try this tactic.
However you can make eye contact with her, do it. Perhaps you need to walk by her, or sit in the corner and position yourself so that you’re in her line of sight. Maybe you need to start doing jumping jacks, or singing, or something else to draw attention to yourself. Whatever suits your personality, do it, and make sure your eyes lock on hers, until she looks away. Then, continue to look at her, encouraging her to see if you’re still appreciating her. If you do this correctly and only with feelings of appreciation and respect, she’ll want to see who this man is that can’t keep his eyes off her.
Next, Watch Her Body Language
Before, during and after you make eye contact, watch what she’s doing with a reserved eye that has zero judgement. Does she stroke her hair? Move her body to face you? Laugh louder, talk more, do something to grab your attention? Is she stroking her glass, or focused on her friends completely? Is she open to you, or closing off her body, her legs, her shoulders?
Take a really good look at how she’s standing and behaving before you make eye contact, and then after.
If you look at her like you might a sister during this portion of the pick up, you’ll clearly see if she’s interested, available, or feeling awkward and threatened. If she’s anything in the second category, stop. Review what you’re doing and how you’re coming across, make sure you center yourself, and take a quick peek around to see if there’s anything else that might have her reacting poorly. Sit with it and figure it out before you do anything else — even if that means letting her walk away. She has to feel safe with you, and you need to create the feeling of safety and attraction between the two of you.
If however she looks down, giggles, blushes, starts touching herself or something around her in a provocative way, and/or makes eye contact back, you’re ready for the next, and last step.
Talk To Her
If she’s made eye contact with you for more than a few seconds, looked back, and otherwise responded positively to your attention, it’s time to go say hi. As you’ve already created a connection with the eye contact, I suggest using that as an in to start a conversation.
“Hey there, I just noticed you staring at me, and I’m wondering if you heard about that research study where people made eye contact for 30 minutes and fell in love.
Were you trying to trick me?” Say it with a twinkle in your eye and a smile on your face, and if you read her body language correctly, she’ll love it. She might even ask about the study (which you can read about here).
Yes, it’s bold. Yes, it’s daring and cheeky, and almost (but not quite) toeing a line. Yet it’s true, very effective, and almost every woman looking sex I know who has heard this story responded positively, asking questions and wanting to hear more. Many even suggested they do 30 minutes of eye contact right off the bat, just to “see if it works”. Regardless, use whatever she says to get a date with her, get her to another space where you can talk more, or ask for her phone number so you can give her the research details and maybe “try it out together”. You’ll have fun, she’ll learn something new, and you’ll both have smiles on your faces the rest of the day.